Identity Crisis

I've noticed that every unhappy situation in my life, no matter what it is, causes me to have an identity crisis of some sort. Suddenly, I'm asking myself why I'm the type of girl to leave my assignments to the last minute, and I start psychoanalyzing myself. "It all goes back to when I was six and..." I think that this is just a subtler form of procrastination. I must say that questions of identity are much more interesting than just about any essay that I've ever had to write. If I come to any startling conclusions in my musings, I will let you know.

Since my concentration for academic pursuits is riding at nil, I've spent my night cleaning my apartment. I figure that the movement might help to get the ideas flowing, and it's more productive than my usual procrastination techniques of playing Insaniquarium and watching That 70's Show. Also, being in a neat environment makes me feel like being more productive. I feel organized and able to accomplish something. Lately my apartment looks like everything exploded, and while it hasn't improved much from tonight's exertions, I do have a clean kitchen and bathroom and less crap in my living room, and I will soon have clean clothes to wear. This makes me feel better already.

Speaking of space, I wonder if that is part of the problem. Since I've moved my study area to the living room, my productivity has gone down. I don't know if this is coincidence or the answer to my problems. Something to ponder on, anyway. And, perhaps experiment with as experiments waste even more time than mere pondering.

Well, I'm hungry and I have no quirky stories to relate, so I think that I will sign off. I am really starting to feel the lack of a social life around here, and I look forward to my return to Ontario and to people and activities. I will not write how many days left because it stresses me out. I still have so much to do.

P.S. You can help my quest for identity by finishing this sentence: Heidi is the type of girl who... (and don't say procrastinates like crazy because we all know that).