Alienation Syndrome

Apparently, it is common for grad students writing their theses to suffer from alienation syndrome at this point in the year. I'm not sure what the symptoms of alienation syndrome are, exactly, but I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from it. I've been wondering how to make friends with the birds in the backyard and I've been trying to learn how to communicate with them. By about 11pm tonight, I was going out of my mind with boredom. I haven't had an actual conversation with someone that didn't involve the internet for days. I don't think that I've said anything out loud for the past 24 hours. I could lose my voice and not know it.

Tonight, to shake up the monotony and to get some exercise I did some dancing. It helped to get me thinking about different things. My thoughts lately have been caught in this loop: breakup-Andrew-sad-thesis-stress-breakup-dreams-sad. I've pretty much exhausted those topics for the moment, so while dancing I turned my mind to something new - philosophy of life. Andrew and I started talking about this when I was home last month, and he has always been surprised that we didn't talk about it more. Really, so am I, although as he pointed out, it's not something I think about very much. While I was dancing, I tried to figure out why I don't think about it more, and I think that it's because it's not something that I need to. I have my basic opinions figured out, and really, if there's a higher power, the consensus is that we mortals can never really understand how he/she/it has planned things out, so don't worry about it it's taken care of, or if there's no higher power then it's pretty obvious how things work. The other problem is that I, in my postmodernism, believe multiple contradictory "truths" at the same time. I'm leery of any grand narrative and feel the need to break it down. However, in case anyone wanted to know how I stand on various issues, here is a rundown:

What religion are you?: None. I don't subscribe to an organized religion.
Are people basically good or evil?: Good. I think that people do bad things because they are unhappy or damaged in some way.
Is there a God/higher power?: Unclear. My emotional self leans towards yes, there is some sort of higher power, but my (smaller) logical side says "no" or "not necessarily". I think that things make sense either way.
Is there an afterlife?: I don't believe in Hell. That's one of my few definite beliefs. Hell doesn't seem fair to me. I think that if there's a higher power, there's probably an afterlife of some sort. I imagine it as a sort of debriefing session, though maybe there's more beautiful heavenly music and lots of light like one imagines.
Is there morality without religion?: Of course. This was one of my largest issues with the right-wing Christian radio show that I used to listen to on my way home from work/school - Focus on the Family. The people on that show had the assumption that religion and morality were equal. I think that history has proven this notion to be false for pretty much every major religion. I think that people should have an understanding of what's right and wrong outside of their religion. I think that one should do what's right because it's right, not because of religious implications.
What spiritual/religious practices do you do?: Hmmmmm.... this is a tricky question. I meditate sporadically. I've started praying sometimes, though not regularly and not in a structured fashion. I find it helpful to imagine that someone's listening and cares about my problems. My main spiritual practice lately is trying to be a better person myself. I've been having a lot of dreams lately about helping people, which could be coming out of my feelings of isolation, but it's something I might start focussing on more in the future. I've also tried to pay more attention to beautiful things and natural things, with mixed success.
What are your thoughts on reality?: Well, my personal experience of reality is that it's somewhat unstable, which I find both scary and liberating. I've noticed that other people seem to report a much more stable reality than I experience, so I guess that for most people it's stable. I do subscribe to the postmodern notion that there is no objective reality, but everyone has their own personal version of it. That seems like an obvious statement to me, but I've noticed that it's not obvious for a lot of people, which is interesting.


Those are all of the things that I can think about to mention right now. I think that it would be neat if people posted their own answers to these questions in the comments, and more questions if there's anything I've missed. I'm not thinking as clearly now that I've stopped dancing. Commenting on my blog would be a great way for us all to transcend our isolation and begin a dialogue about something interesting. Hint hint.